Reality Bites

Thanks to Myn, a very dear friend of mine, for this lyrics.

Lea:
Be still my heart
Lately its mind is on it’s own
It would go far and wide
Just to be near you

Here’s an update on my life in and out of the hospital which I call "Hello" Moments…

Only in PGH

!!! A STAT lab test may not necessarily yield an immediate result, depending on the following factors… 1.) A co-worker may not send your STAT specimens ASAP even if they were taught before that we need the results right away.  2.) The famous lab info person was on-duty when you went up to send your labs.  Tsk! Tsk!  It’s blockbuster once again but you have to somehow disregard your habit of waiting in line to carry out your orders and get rid of all the specimens assigned to you.  3.) Right before your eyes, you saw that the lab technician is in the process of "running" tons of labs specimens… Good luck STAT !!!

!! At the break of dawn, an unregistered pregnant patient comes for consult at OBAS without any prenatal care check-ups.  Here she comes in labor, assessed with complications, without any money for this 9-month pregnancy… Responsible parenthood, where are you? !!!

!!! A groggy lady who seems to have bad hair days comes around 3AM, presenting with vaginal bleeding, cold clammy extremities, fever… be ready to get toxic for this irresponsible person who induced this abortion and subsequently pushed herself into sepsis… Grrr !!!

!!! "Admission!!!!!" Where is our dear "nar"?  Have we really gone out of our supplies of IV fluids, macrosets and gloves?  WOW!!! Can we just close this section when times happen like this?  Help!!!

!! Monitoring in the Recovery Room, especially when you were so tired… postpartum mommies would demand something not covered by your "job description"… and the worse is they would call you "Miss", "Ate", "Nurse"… Can’t they read our nameplates?  It has Dr. before our names and we were the ones who delivered their babies… Talk about being ungrateful and disrespectful !!!

On My So-So Life

!!! An early morning kadugyutan occurred to me when an improperly sealed/capped blood vial spilled on my white uniform.  A vacutainer is supposed to be a vacutainer when you do a BE!!!  Case closed

!!! An 8-week rotation is working together for 8 weeks.  How come 2 of seniors didn’t know my name… well in fact, they owe me favorsssss and money for their meals?  Mind boggling… Unresolved

!!! A creature who used to be a special friend left without any notice… and even got my bestfriend as an accessory to his crime.  All this time, he was clueless… and with the recent encounter, he even found himself confused… Hello!!! Case closed.

!!! Ideal man… non-existent… too abstract… Unresolved.

A close friend texted me this:

An ideal guy doesn’t have bad vices, doesn’t engage in a one night stand, doesn’t make promises he can’t keep, doesn’t flirt and lie… in short, he doesn’t exist… walang ganong lalake pa no!?

Actually, I finally met my ideal guy after 25 years.  Before, I thought that I would encounter this kind of guy from a seminary.  My bestfriend kept on discouraging me when I say that.  She’s right because he’s not from a seminary!  Too bad… he’s attached at present.  Frustrating? I guess but I have learned that maybe, he’s not the one for me.  He’s just one of my good friends… that’s all he could ever be.  I’m glad that I have friends to help me get this over.  Besides, I won’t allow myself to get into a more complicated life.  Med school is enough complication. 

From the same friend who texted me the previous message, I want to share this to all of my friends:

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets… so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason…

Know a good thing when you see it, and don’t let it slip away… If you get a chance, take it… If it changes your life, let it… Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.

I hope that this message will help you with your everyday endeavors.  God Bless!

Last week, I lost my patient for the first time…

This case is one of those cases in a diagnostic dilemma. 

She came in with Septic-Metabolic Encephalopathy which resolved eventually.  However, her persistent hypercalcemic state made us investigate on the probably of malignancy.  It was a 15-day battle for her family and for us doctors. 

On the day I accompanied her in GI Clinic for EGD, she was very conscious and uttered with so much effort the words "Thank you ha!"  I wouldn’t forget how happy she was when she said that.  I don’t know exactly if she was referring to our "general patient care" or for the EGD that she had which is a procedure that is slightly hard to tolerate.   I admired her courage for allowing herself to undergo every procedure or treatment that we had offered her.

I opted not leave her when the priest came for her final sacrament.  Tears flowed from my eyes.  I can’t look at her son’s face for I don’t know what to say.  When she finally left us, her son came to me and expressed his gratitude for taking care of her mother.  I was relieved by what he said for it reflected acceptance of his mother’s death.

My patient’s death made me realize that I made a difference for my patients.  Likewise, I was touched by their lives aside from learning from their cases. 

I, I got a new life,
you would hardly recognize me I’m so glad
How can a person like me, check on you?
I, why do I bother, when you’re not the one for me..
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh… is enough enough?

I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
life is demanding, without understanding
I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one’s gonna drag you up,
to get into the light, where you belong
but where do you belong?

I, under the pale moon, for so many years
I’ve wondered who you are
How can a person like you, bring me joy?
Under the pale moon,
where I see a lot of stars
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh, is enough enough?

I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
life is demanding, without understanding
I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one’s gonna drag you up,
to get into the light, where you belong
but where do you belong?

Last night and for the very first time, I served my patients independently as the Ward Clerk-On-Duty (WCOD) at the newly established Sentro Oftalmologico Jose Rizal.  While doing my chart rounds, I was approached by one of my patients, Mr. Blas, whose right eye was exenterated.  He asked me if I could give him a new prescription for him to continue his antibiotics.  I politely answered that I would check first the doctor’s orders (which apparently did not help me because the duration of drug use was not indicated) and ask any resident to "trodat" the prescription pad.  After counterchecking with the Nurse-On-Duty, I advised the patient to just wait for the doctor’s order the next morning for he may have been previously prescribed with enough antibiotics and that he may not need to buy more.  Then he asked me if I am from Bicol and replied no, from Bulacan instead.  He said that my Chinese features and the way I speak reminded him of a Bicolana.  And so, he started telling me his "hospital stay" stories from the time he was admitted in UST then to PGH.  From our long conversation, the highlight was that he is very grateful and respectful, ever since, to his doctors and medical students that he never failed to include them in his prayers and attendance to Eucharistic celebrations.  I was deeply touched by what he said that I almost dropped those tears from my eyes that I was holding on.  He memorized my name and told me that he would pray for my upcoming board exams.  Imagine, I haven’t done any procedure on him.  I just attended to his simple request and conversed with him for several minutes and I got that very special gift. 

This afternoon at the follow-up clinic of Ophtha, 3 out of 3 of my patients consistently called me "Doctora" which I have been wanting to hear for a long time.  This truly relieved my stress and energized my cells.  My last patient handed me a Halls lemon candy as a sign of gratitude.  In my mind, I said "This is what you call `good patient care.’"  But then I remembered Mr. Blas, my first patient who deeply touched my heart.

I hope many patients would be like Mr. Blas… very appreciative.  Thank you Lord for having patients like him for they are the ones to inspire more doctors.

Always say "thank you," excuse me," and "please" when you have done a favor and when you are apologizing.

Always RSVP promptly to every invitation you receive.

Return anything borrowed on time and in good condition.

Be on time for appointments; leave on time, too, for nothing is more boring than someone who overstays his welcome.

When you dial a wrong number, say, "I’m sorry, excuse me" - instead of slamming down the receiver in the other person’s ear.

Never cheat on your place in line.

Learn how to pay compliments. Start with the members of your family, and you will find it will become easier later in life to compliment others. It’s a great asset!!!

Don’t put your feet up the furniture. Feet do not enhance the look of the desk or the table.

Thanks to all those who remembered me today!!!

I was supposed to be up by 530 this morning, thinking that I should be preparing at that time for a 630 mass.  But to my dismay, it was raining so hard that I decided not to go out… it’s "bed weather."  Friends started texting me their birthday greetings but I had no energy to reply to them… so I went to sleep.  ZZZzzzzzz!!!  Got up around 630 and just made my powerpoint slides just in case I would be presenting my journal report this afternoon… oh yes, that’s the way to cram… got it finished by 9.

So I went to my usual "lungga" for my 2-week elective rotation at the Child Protection Unit (CPU) of PGH.  Everyday that I would come to CPU, I would be reminded of my undergrad days at UP-CDC because of the colorful walls usually seen in preschools.  I overheard from a pedia resident, who was then post-duty at the wards, PGH had no power supply since early this morning.  Fortunately, our place has the luxury of power… we still have our aircon, lights, computer, TV, etc.  My evil instincts told me to get out and see my other classmates rotating in Fam Med, which is in AMBU, to brag about our nice, cozy and cool place.  Hehe!  Then, lunch time…

I went back at the CPU after an hour.  After a few minutes, one of the consultants told us that our classes were already cancelled.  But I opted to stay when 2 patients, adolescent girls, came in to finally observe a case & prepare my paper.  But afterwards, I realized that my observation went beyond my expectations… it was more of experiencing with others.  I emphatize with these patients who are truly vulnerable persons in our society.  I am glad that CPU is there… really optimizing their resources to help these patients and their families.  My salute to our donors!

Later on, I will be enjoying my dinner with my family & friends… and will surely realize how blessed I am for the 25 years of my life.  Thank GOD and keep on inspiring me…

Yesterday, I gave a lecture on Dengue to patients waiting in line at 1PO3 of PGH-OPD.  I was so nervous to talk to them… afraid that they won’t listen to me… and excited as well to impart knowledge to my audience.  It was even "dyahe" since I was using the karaoke system & was heard even by passers-by.  The lecture was a success for my audience really participated and made valuable insights as well.  After the lecture, one lady even followed me and my resident as we enter our room and asked my resident when would the other lectures be held.  Her enthusiasm really made me feel good.  Thanks to Family Med for giving us this opportunity to touch our patients’ lives through this Public Health Lecture.  Thanks also to "someone special" who saw my lecture and paid complement on what I did for these patients.  This rotation, which is about to end, has been meaningful to me.

Am I considering surgery? 

Hmmm… the operation takes a lot of time… it’s hard to retract (though it makes you feel as an asset of the team since you do the "exposure" part)… I can’t identify the structures (where did my anatomy brain go?)… you’ll have those leg cramps… you’ll consume a lot of uniforms & scrubs… sleepless nights… growling stomach…

But I found myself amazing after a month in this rotation. I can stand a 24+-hour duty… I improved in doing BEs, IVs, etc…  I learned to love the toxicity of ER (from the simple laceration to hacking wounds)… and most of all, I discovered that most of our patients are truly grateful to us (even if I was called a nurse for a lot of times).

I don’t know if I’ll be a surgeon someday.  But at this moment, I am convinced that I still wanted to be a doctor.  It is indeed a noble job.  Thanks to our consultants, residents and interns in surgery… our mentors… for making our rotation truly memorable.  Special thanks to my sisses (Myra, Mabes, Mar, Pia, Rory, Maricris) and dutymates for helping me in this rotation.